Facilitating Self Management

Managing oneself can include being respectful in class 

Self management may be the most important skill students at alternative middle schools can develop to have successful futures. The ability to administer ones time efficiently and taking responsibility for ones own actions are only two of the several factors of learning how to handle oneself. To put self management in simpler terms, it can be explained to students as thinking about actions before they are done, respecting other students, and doing what is right every day.

Showing up prepared and on time are two simple ways to manage time effectivley

Addressing the significance of self management is vital to students making beneficial decisions for themselves. With self management, coming to school on time, coming to class prepared with materials, respecting teachers and peers, staying on task, speaking positive words, and listening to teachers and staff will come easily to students. These may seem like basic tasks, but for a positive middle school experience, being kind to peers and teachers and doing the best one can in classes is integral for future success in further middle school grades, high school, and for the rest of this young person’s career. Supporting students’ goals such as being considerate of others, coming to classes ready to learn, working on academics and asking for assistance will only make those skills grow and expand into future experiences. More tips for developing self management can be accessed right here.

I truly hope this blog has been helpful to you, and I will post more as I have time. Students are the future, and I believe all should be nurtured and supported by any means possible. I appreciate all your thoughts and comments, and as always, thanks for reading!

Controlling Anger

Anger may not be a good feeling, but it is important for students to know anger is a normal feeling. Tempers can stem from several different emotions, including fear, anxiety, frustration, and nervousness. While anger may seen negative, it can actually be helpful for students to express a problem occurring in life, which allows others to help deal with those issues. Yet, students may not know how to express their emotions, and confusion can lead to anger being dealt with in a destructive way.

Taking out anger by breaking things, especially school property, is never acceptable

Students should learn the good and bad ways to deal with feelings of anger. Acts of catharsis such as yelling, swearing, breaking things, or hurting others will all end with unfortunate consequences, and even if doing those actions feels good in the moment, regret will be the ultimate ending. Although, there are some good ways to let anger out and feel better overall, too. Writing, exercising, drawing, reading, and listening to music are just a few ways for children to satisfyingly let anger out. When students are equipped with this knowledge, getting out of bouts of frustration will seem more doable; however, how can students calm themselves down before their anger escalates?

If a student has a mentor, whether teacher or family member, they can share
ways to keep anger in check 

Anger can be chronically and uncomfortably brewing beneath the surface of a child, but when he/she knows what triggers the animosity, steps can be taken to avoid meltdowns. Specific classes or other classmates are a few things that could agitate a student, so having a trusted teacher or staff member to talk to will help the student feel safe and capable of talking about his/her feelings. Between finding expressive coping skills for anger and having a trusted adult to analyze frustration with, students should have a more accessible way to cope with their feelings. Be the active listener, and thanks for reading!

Approaching Fights

While fighting may seem similar to my previous posts , it is actually different from hitting or even bullying. Fighting can include many different forms including making excuses, as a student could be fighting from the truth. Also, temper tantrums, such as making loud noises during class, interrupting the teacher during instructional time, and insulting other classmates are other forms of fighting. Temper tantrums and acting out are fighting the progress of class taking place. Yet another way to conceptualize fighting could be starting an argument. Arguing with other students often leads to elevated emotions and could end in physical fighting, so discouraging bickering will preserve feelings as well as spare potential injuries.

Fighting can make the individual look bad, and the fight could be recorded
and passed around which would be even worse for the situation

Students do not realize when they start fights, problems are typically not solved. The issue will still exist, not to mention learning of the individual and fellow peers is disrupted, and no progress toward a solution is made. Most of the time, fights are escalated from events including messing around, attempting to “be cool” or show off, or mild anger that could evolve into dangerous fighting.

Instead of children creating accidental fights for themselves, we can teach them to manage their emotions and offer practical alternatives to fighting. One of the easiest ways to cool off when getting worked up is deep breathing. Teaching children to close their eyes and take 10 deep breaths when they feel overstimulated is the easiest way to take a step back from a situation and calm down.

Walking away from a fight to cool off can decrease aggression in the moment 

Walking away from the situation and walking off frustration can also diffuse tension in conflicting situations, so letting students know they can ask to be excused from class to cool down or even ask to change seats to move from the tense situation is important. Students also have the right to refuse to fight, and they can learn their voice means something. Suggesting conversation rather than violence can defuse a potentially violent situation, which empowers students to make things happen positively with their words.

However, if all of these alternatives to fighting fail, students should know they can always ask teachers for assistance to abstain from fighting. Teachers can aid students in the previous problem-solving techniques, or direct agitated students to a school counselor or someone else equipped to handle the problem at hand. Fighting often occurs in alternative middle schools, but if students are cognizant of their problem-solving abilities, disputes should decrease. Thanks for reading!  

Managing Unwanted Touching and Hitting

School is meant to be a place of learning, discovery, and most of all, fun. Children should look forward to going to school whether it’s to see friends, or if there’s a class that peaks their interest. However, when hitting and unwanted touching occur in the halls, school can be the last place a student wants to be. Hitting and unwanted touching could be an act of bullying, anger, or fighting, but it could also be done as a form of flirting for young adolescents. What may seem like flirting or trying to get an individual’s attention may actually make the individual upset or uncomfortable, so hitting and touching are important to address early on with children in alternative middle schools.

School can become an upsetting place if students have their personal space invaded 

To explain the difference for children, hitting could be considered taking a fist, hand, fingers, elbow, or putting anything in that hand (like a pencil, ruler, marker) and using the object to touch someone to hurt them. Unwanted touching, on the other hand, could be touching someone with any object or any part of the body on another person’s body without asking. Unwanted touching could be hitting, poking, hugging, rubbing, bumping, pinching, elbowing, or kicking someone. Unwanted touching is expected to make students more upset; however, hitting also causes a problem of comfort at school.

Encouraging communication skills is pinnacle for decreasing unwanted spats

Like bullying, determining the cause of unwanted touching and hitting can be difficult at times. If a child sees someone who has made him/her angry or upset in the past, hitting the culprit may seem like an effective solution. However, demonstrating communication skills will allow the child to see how to correctly solve a problem. The student should explain to the problem-causer what was done and why it was upsetting in the first place, and if personal confrontation does not work, teacher intervention is encouraged. This example could be extended to wanting to hit someone annoying in class, hoping to get back at a bully, or simply trying to mess with a friend. Learning conversational skills to solve a problem early should reduce hitting and encourage talking through things to get what is needed from someone else.

Unwanted touching can be a little more difficult to address. While some unwanted touching can be grouped with hitting or messing with a peer, other unwanted touching could be on parts of the body that are sensitive to students. Explaining everyone has their own personal bubble with personal space and letting students know they should never touch others without permission of the specific person can be vital to reducing unwanted touching.

Unwanted hitting and touching are both tricky subjects to discuss with students, so creating and handing out a contract at the beginning of the school year could address situations right away. For your own alternative middle school, outlining unwanted hitting and touching can be helpful for students to think about their actions before ever acting on them. Mold respectful young adults, and thanks for reading!

Explaining Bullying and Harassment

Bullying and harassment are two largely problematic issues, especially in middle school. Children are supposed to feel safe and excited at school, but when an individual chooses to harshly and/or repeatedly pick on others, the school environment can feel toxic. Bullying and harassment can be hard to differentiate for a child, so to create two different definitions, bullying could be explained as repeated actions like name-calling, physical violence, relational aggression, making threats, and purposefully working others up. Harassment is similar; however, it is not necessarily repeated, and it can be about something more specific such as another student’s differences including race, religion, age, or material status.

Bullying makes kids feel left out and hurt 

Explaining to a bully how his/her behavior is unacceptable may be difficult, but encouraging alternatives to the behavior could be a good start. Urging students to welcome each other's differences is an important step to halting bullying and harassment. Typically, bullying occurs because of a difference between students. However, celebrating differences and cultivating discussion about those deviations of similarity assemble healthy discussions. Once students get to talking, they may find they even have things in common!

Relational aggression is just as bad as physical bullying and must be accounted for 

Allowing children to put themselves in other peers’ shoes and examine their own behavior is another beneficial way to reduce bullying and harassment. Relational aggression often occurs and is maintained because of the lack of empathy. Asking a student why he/she may have started a rumor, for example, and asking how he/she would feel if that rumor was about them is a worthy start to having the student recognize the feelings the actions cause. Once a child realizes how he/she has made another person feel, empathy will set in, and apologies will follow.  

Eliminating bullying and harassment is difficult, but it can be started with inspiring a compassionate mindset. Getting discussions started between students about diversity will motivate open-mindedness, and with a greater understanding will come a greater capacity for friendships to be formed. Ergo, bullying to decrease. Ending bullying and harassment is a harder process to work through in middle school, but it’s not impossible. Cultivate kindness, and thanks for reading!  

Eliminating Disruption

Disruption is a common problem in alternative middle schools, and it can take many forms, occurring for many different reasons. Kids may most likely be disrupting class time for attention, but attention resulting from interruption is typically negative and will end up getting them in trouble. Disrupting class can be done in several different ways, including pencil tapping, feet kicking, chair squeaking, loudly talking, and lack of hand raising, but the list is not limited there. School should be an environment where students feel happy, safe, and focused, but disruption from a classmate can corrupt students of an educational environment.

The Three T's for analyzing potential interruption 

An effective way to have children think about their behavior and whether it is disruptive would be to think of the “Three T’s”: Think about your voice level, Think about your behavior, and Think about other classmates. For voice level, having a child think of a scale from 0-3 (0 = no talking is acceptable, 3 = normal voice level of taking is acceptable) can aid children in judging how loudly and appropriately their conversations are going. Creating supplemental worksheets for examining voice level is an option and could be beneficial for some students.

For the second T, thinking about behavior, ask students what behavior is applicable to their voice level. If they are working on a group project during class time, perhaps a conversational voice level is allowed. However, if the student is asking another classmate to borrow a piece of paper, perhaps a whisper is better in this situation. Having the child differentiate contexts of talking during class will allow him/her to better recognize relevant times to talk during class without being disruptive.

Disruption bothers and distracts other students 

The last T, thinking about other classmates, requires students to think altruistically. Explaining to a student that his/her behavior during class could agitate peers’ learning is a good way to put the student in other classmates’ shoes. Typically, once a child recognizes the uncomfortable situation he/she is putting others in, he/she will be bothered by it and want to stop. Allowing a student to think empathetically should be the final step in changing disrespectful behavior in the classroom.

Disruption is not pleasant for anyone in the classroom, but hopefully with the three T’s, it can decline. Thinking about voice level and when it is appropriate to use certain voice levels is a good first step in self awareness in the classroom. With the addition of thinking about one’s own behavior as well as the feelings of kids around an individual will bring a student’s behavior full circle, and disruptive behavior should dissipate. If disruption is a common problem in the classroom, work on respect and control with your kiddos, and thanks for reading!

Studying in School

As my previous post suggests, children understanding proper study skills and having those skills transferable from the classroom to the home is extremely vital for success. However, being able to use those skills in the school setting and utilizing work time with peers and teachers is just as important. Coming to class prepared with all materials, ready to learn, attention on the teacher, and being organized and respectful for the whole class period are just a few simple steps which lead to being a successful studier at school.

Messing around in class distracts classroom flow 

Poor study skills and classroom etiquette can distract not only an individual student, but the whole class as well. When children get up and walk around the class to sharpen their pencil, look for supplies, or go to the front of the class to ask a teacher a question, those actions disrupt the teacher’s flow of instruction as well as the peers trying to learn. Making sure students have several sharpened pencils, papers, and any other supplies they will need for class is important to decreasing disruption.

Furthermore, asking students to come to class prepared eliminates the factor of disrupting the teacher or peers during class time. Encouraging students to give their full attention to the teacher during class will lower the chances of students bothering their peers for concepts they missed, and students will be more inclined to raise their hand and ask questions. Chances are, the question a student is asking is on other classmate’s minds, too, so be sure to let students know asking questions by raising hands is appropriate and appreciated.

Be a star!

Finally, in order for students to be successful with study skills, ask them to remember the acronym STAR: Strive for excellence, Take learning seriously, Always follow the rules, and Respect others and belongings. Committing to and remembering STAR will guide children in the right direction for success in the school setting. Help your students become STARs, and thanks for reading!