Managing Unwanted Touching and Hitting

School is meant to be a place of learning, discovery, and most of all, fun. Children should look forward to going to school whether it’s to see friends, or if there’s a class that peaks their interest. However, when hitting and unwanted touching occur in the halls, school can be the last place a student wants to be. Hitting and unwanted touching could be an act of bullying, anger, or fighting, but it could also be done as a form of flirting for young adolescents. What may seem like flirting or trying to get an individual’s attention may actually make the individual upset or uncomfortable, so hitting and touching are important to address early on with children in alternative middle schools.

School can become an upsetting place if students have their personal space invaded 

To explain the difference for children, hitting could be considered taking a fist, hand, fingers, elbow, or putting anything in that hand (like a pencil, ruler, marker) and using the object to touch someone to hurt them. Unwanted touching, on the other hand, could be touching someone with any object or any part of the body on another person’s body without asking. Unwanted touching could be hitting, poking, hugging, rubbing, bumping, pinching, elbowing, or kicking someone. Unwanted touching is expected to make students more upset; however, hitting also causes a problem of comfort at school.

Encouraging communication skills is pinnacle for decreasing unwanted spats

Like bullying, determining the cause of unwanted touching and hitting can be difficult at times. If a child sees someone who has made him/her angry or upset in the past, hitting the culprit may seem like an effective solution. However, demonstrating communication skills will allow the child to see how to correctly solve a problem. The student should explain to the problem-causer what was done and why it was upsetting in the first place, and if personal confrontation does not work, teacher intervention is encouraged. This example could be extended to wanting to hit someone annoying in class, hoping to get back at a bully, or simply trying to mess with a friend. Learning conversational skills to solve a problem early should reduce hitting and encourage talking through things to get what is needed from someone else.

Unwanted touching can be a little more difficult to address. While some unwanted touching can be grouped with hitting or messing with a peer, other unwanted touching could be on parts of the body that are sensitive to students. Explaining everyone has their own personal bubble with personal space and letting students know they should never touch others without permission of the specific person can be vital to reducing unwanted touching.

Unwanted hitting and touching are both tricky subjects to discuss with students, so creating and handing out a contract at the beginning of the school year could address situations right away. For your own alternative middle school, outlining unwanted hitting and touching can be helpful for students to think about their actions before ever acting on them. Mold respectful young adults, and thanks for reading!